Why is there no fast train between Sydney and Melbourne?

Ah, the Sydney to Melbourne route is so iconic that it almost begs for a high-speed train to zip travellers between Australia’s two biggest cities in the blink of an eye. Yet, here we are, in the 21st century, still chugging along at a pace that lets you savour every sheep and wheat field between the two metropolises. Let’s dive into the quirky tale of why we need help to get a fast train on track.

A Dream Deferred

The idea of a high-speed train linking Sydney and Melbourne has been around for decades, almost becoming a mythical unicorn of Australian infrastructure. Picture this: a sleek train slicing through the countryside, covering 878 kilometres (about 545 miles) in under three hours. Sounds fantastic. Unfortunately, this dream has run into more roadblocks than a kangaroo in a vineyard.

The Big Bucks Blockade

First up is the price tag. Building a high-speed rail network isn’t just about laying down shiny new tracks and whooshing away. It involves massive infrastructure changes, new technology, and a lot of land. Estimates have thrown around figures in the ballpark of $114 billion (yes, billion with a ‘B’). In a country where debates over spending often end with “Yeah, nah,” finding the funds is a bit like finding a needle in a haystack—a very expensive haystack.

Geography’s Great Challenge

Australia’s terrain and vast distances also play a part in this logistical labyrinth. The route between Sydney and Melbourne isn’t just a straight shot across a docile landscape. It involves negotiating mountains, rivers, and a lot of valuable agricultural land that farmers are understandably reluctant to give up for a train that doesn’t help them herd sheep.

The Population Puzzle

Then there’s the issue of whether enough people use this mythical train. Australia, for all its land, is not exactly bursting at the seams with the population densities of Japan or France, where high-speed trains are part of the national identity. The Sydney-Melbourne air route is already one of the busiest in the world, with flights nearly every 15 minutes at peak times. Convincing Aussies to swap their quick flights for a train ride might be more challenging than convincing them to give up their barbecues for tofu.

Political Ping-Pong

Of course, the discussion of Australian infrastructure is only complete with a nod to our favourite pastime: political bickering. The high-speed rail project has been the football in a never-ending match of political ping-pong, with each side of politics having a whack when they’re in power, only to see plans shelved when the opposition takes the reins.

So, What Are We Doing About It?

While the dream of high-speed rail seems to be on a slow train to nowhere, it hasn’t continued smaller, more achievable projects from popping up. Upgrades to existing lines and talks of better regional services are ongoing. These may lay the groundwork for bigger dreams in the future.

So, while we might not be zipping between Sydney and Melbourne at lightning speeds anytime soon, the discussion around high-speed rail in Australia is still ongoing. It remains a testament to our ambition and perhaps a little to our stubbornness. In the meantime, sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenic route—because if there’s one thing we have plenty of, it’s stunning landscapes to admire, one leisurely train ride at a time.